Sabyasachi Guha narrates how interacting with U.G. Krishnamurti addressed the core conflict in him.

Sabyasachi GuhaThe U.G. phenomenon will survive in various ways but how it affects you as an individual is the most important thing.  In the beginning, I had a lot of conflicting ideas and thoughts, but at one point I felt such powerful life forces were involved that my apparent choices were completely beyond my volition – beyond me in the sense that what was going on inside my body after interacting with him was something I could not possibly induce on my own. Consequently, I could not stop thinking about U.G., I just could not.

My interaction with U.G. was addressing a core mechanism. This process systematically energized the entire body to deal with thought as if to eliminate the conflict that inhibits our innate expression. This mechanism and its functionality get a boost whenever there is recollection of a familiar situation.  It is Proustian – say I am away from the person that I am intimately involved with, and after a month I open her closet and a piece of clothing falls out – that reminds me of her. She is not there, but the sight and smell makes me feel like she is sitting here with me.  Memory triggers that but that aspect of memory is physical, not spiritual.

The Memory of U.G.

The memory of U.G. has a strange kind of zest and potency and to me it is almost like madness.  Madness means it’s not communicating with the rest of the world’s vocabulary.  Normally, when you respond to the society’s demands, everything is fine.  If you don’t, it presumes you are mad.  In that sense U.G. was creating a kind of madness.  For me, interaction with him set something in motion that denied others’ influence, therefore the conflict was suspended, and I felt euphoric.  If someone had allowed this to go on, you would be surprised that before the person could come to grips with it, it would be difficult for him to relate to anybody the way he had before.  I couldn’t.  It was not possible because there was some unknown disposition established inside.  Now it is unbearable to break that disposition in order to compromise in a particular situation. That’s why I feel that I have turned into an animal, a two-legged animal with a peculiar order, and it does not want to be anywhere or spend time with anybody if it has to compromise that order.

Everything in this society is give and take and is a signature of bondage. I could not find anything in U.G. that was expecting anything from me in any form.  I was sincerely attracted to him, and curious at the same time; he made himself totally accessible to me. So unusual was the condition that this alone caused me to constantly ponder about him.  He would never give advice unless asked. It appeared to me that he had no issues regarding his own situation. His total lack of concern and worry presented itself as a powerful lightness and sense of freedom. The memory of U.G.’s physical existence created a disposition in me that addressed a fundamental sense of emancipation. We are taught to be false, but once you have tasted that emancipation, you cannot be fooled by anybody.

Old habits die hard. I have been hammering this to a friend that this hope doesn’t go, the hope that maybe there is something or somebody out there who is going to show you a new direction which will help you to solve the problems of your life. If you accept that there is nothing there to be changed, you will have no need to go to anybody ever again, and life will begin to unfold in its own way.

The Image-making Structure

As long as you are creating an image and investing energy to exemplify that image – that image is always detached from the movement of life and the parallel processor gets the upper hand.  This image-making structure, the imaginary faculty of humans, is always running parallel, back and forth, along with the perceptive subject and object, which is the foundation of life.  Our brain capacity is so enormous that we have this running processor, like a multi-tasking mechanism. For example, your eyes are open so the thing that is necessary for you to keep in touch with the perceptive world is functioning but the parallel processor keeps going on, always giving a sense of its proprietary control and ownership.  When you are driving a car and passing through a completely unknown territory it will be very hard for you to carry on a discussion with your friend because you need to pay more attention to where you are going. The processor, due to foundational necessity, is automatically forced to go into the background.  So we have a very complex and apparently efficient brain, which does these things in a parallel fashion.  That processor which is a result of your imaginative faculty, due to its very nature makes you feel that you should behave in a certain way. It is a resultant projection from that imaginary world.  That’s why your satisfaction depends on a predominant idea and the experience with which it coincides.

The parallel processor by its very nature establishes two groups: those who are hopeful and those who peddle goodies to satisfy that hope.  It is a vicious cycle! In that regard there is no difference between the politician’s hope — lying through his teeth to an extent that defies simple logic, the church ministers’ hope — protecting his faith, deluding himself and others, and the temple priests and New Age slick talkers who peddle enlightenment.  They are proclaiming, look at me; I am a free man, you can be like me! There is no such thing as a free man at all!

All the imagery that you are using to justify yourself is also a projection of your previous knowledge of what you heard from U.G. and what you expect from yourself, but all these are illusive and figments of our imagination.  You will never know what you will do in a real situation.  And, when that understanding becomes stronger and stronger, you will give less validity to that imaginary aspect.  Just because you or I were with U.G. does not mean that we will do certain things that other people expect from us.  If someone has created an image from hearing, seeing, or interacting with U.G., and projects that onto me, and thinks that if I am in the natural state like U.G. I should be doing this, this, this, that’s wrong.  It means I am not functioning like myself.

There is something inside us that needs constant justification; it wants three different things at the same time, all through thinking, and therefore the necessity for justification. If we give less importance to that image-making or information gathering process, then we will function like ourselves.  We will have very little conflict, and no need for justification. That does not mean I will do anything I want to do.  I have perfect understanding about social norms.

U.G. insisted that you don’t need to go anywhere, read anything or listen to anyone; you already know what you need to know to function in life. You don’t need anything from anybody.  What you need is money; find a way to use your talent to make money.

No Need for Justification

If you invite U.G. into your guts, you will have to give up the image-making structure that the society imposes on you.  You will not copy anyone nor invest energy in ideas about yourself.  When you stop giving importance to that image-making and information gathering process, you will function with very little conflict, and will have no need for justification. If you compromise, it is like Joseph Goebbels’ “imposition of lies”, the theory of lying:  keep hammering to the countrymen the wrong information and after some time, they will believe that information.  Goebbels said, “The bigger the lie the more it will be believed. And Hitler said, “Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it.” To get along, you create and consciously remember an antidote to the U.G. logic. You keep infesting your brain to make yourself available to the game of self-aggrandizement!

We have a very evolved brain.  It is extremely smart and the thing that you see about the functionality of the intelligent brain is the way it processes information. There is a movement in consciousness, which creates the sense of self or self-consciousness.  Do not underestimate the intentionality of that movement. It is very smart.  It is going to constantly throw out logic for its own justification, for its own movement.

U.G. experienced many things, which due to lack of adequate words he had to call “spiritual experiences”.  It is the “spiritual experience” that almost eliminates the experiencing structure. The important thing is the collapse of the information structure, not the nature and the content of the experience. There is nothing to hang on to, but when the spiritual experiences that you have heard about and identified with don’t explain the physical happenings going on inside your body, terms such as mutation and radical transformation are used to emphasize the physical process.

Something physical was exhibiting in U.G.’s body, but he didn’t want to use mythical lingo, especially the one called enlightenment!  His state was so self-justified that he could pooh pooh the techniques and ideas that J. Krishnamurti was propagating to bring about radical transformation or possessing a great mind.  Mind itself is the greatest problem!  The realization that mind itself has to be destroyed came through in the book, where U.G. coined the phrase “Mind is a myth”. Thinking is a myth-making process.

U.G.’s Challenge

U.G. was throwing us a challenge: Have you tried hard enough, have you tried with all your might so that you can say they are totally wrong?  Does that process work for you, or is the guy who is peddling it a fake?  You have invested so much in the teacher that you can’t brush him aside. So what will you do? You try harder and harder. You live in hope and you will die in hope.

You cannot hang on to U.G.’s words; what can you get out of the statement, “There is nothing to understand?” Your mind tells you there is a goal you can reach by doing spiritual practice. You act according to that promise, but your discrimination tells you that nothing is happening. You did everything and nothing happened, nothing!  Then you begin to understand U.G.’s words: “The very thing that you want to get rid of is strengthened and fortified by whatever you are doing.”  This is quite an unusual situation.  We are used to justifying our motivations. Hence you are justifying your spiritual experiences.  This is the salient feature; it is the very thing he was telling you to fuggetaboutit!  The people in the spiritual marketplace boost your ego by telling you what you want to hear.  He was saying that if you think you are special because you came to see him, you have totally missed the boat.

U.G. was simple, ordinary, a real human being; we are extraordinarily screwed up. I felt frustrated because in my projection he was the ideal man. That guy had something everyone wants. I was ready to jump from the tenth floor if I could get what I thought he had!

U.G. completely dismissed this aspect, and instead exemplified his own version of the National Enquirer:  He made one million dollars in foreign currency exchange!  He was one of the most brilliant speakers India ever produced!  J.K. learned by observing him!  He would say these things so seriously, ad nauseam, just to kill your word processor! U.G. must have known that if he exemplified what I thought he had, it would destroy his integrity; a structure would be created around him, and it would force him to play games with peoples’ lives.  U.G. refused to do that.

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