Poems on Guha - Series 3

February 10th, 2016

FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE

For the first time in my life

I have fallen in love.

The love is so deep and complete

That never would I have to ever

Fall in love again

With anybody or anything

For in eyes of my love

I have found my whole Universe!

Nothing else to do

Nowhere else to go

In the depths of those eyes

I have lost myself forever.

It is the grace and benevolence

Of that love, that taught me what it is

To really love someone

And let myself go

For what I had held on to myself

Was nothing but a veil

That just got in the way of my love.

Unveiled and unfettered am I

To completely drown myself

In this sweet ecstasy

No need to come up for air

For there is no reason left

To come back for anything!

-------X-------

February 14th, 2016

THE PERFECT MAN

The perfect man isn’t the one that

Tells me I love you

He isn’t the one that promises me

A rosy tomorrow

He isn’t the one that hands out hope

Or peddles a dream

He doesn’t seem to want anything from me

Or need anything from anybody.

He neither caters to my wants and fancies

Nor does he believe in meeting my expectations

He doesn’t seem to feel the need to keep his promises

For he writes his promises on water.

He has successfully killed all my gods, goddesses and godlets

And all my heroes - living and dead

He has destroyed my interest in books, entertainment and relationships

And made mincemeat of my ambitions and aspirations.

But most of all he killed the thing I held dearest to me

My search for a state of eternal happiness.

What kind of man is this?

That sticks a time-bomb in the very core of your being

And then watches you with utter glee

As you fall apart and break asunder.

He wears a crazy and wicked smile

And calls it the glee of insanity

He torments every person around him

Best friend, other friends and maddies

None seem to escape the wrath of this mad man.

Why would anyone want to hang out around him?

Why would anyone want to submit themselves

To this unpredictable craziness?

What is it that he has that makes him so irresistible?

What is it that makes me crave for his company?

What is it that makes me weep and shed copious tears

Whilst away from him?

What does this ordinary looking guy have

That others cannot hold a candle to?

HE IS THE PERFECT MAN

He is perfect because he is complete in himself

He has no agenda and seeks nothing from me

He pours himself out for everyone like an endless Akshaya Patra

And is content even if you don’t spare him a grain of rice

He sings songs and hums melodies

That tugs on my heartstrings

Uses perfectly nuanced words that

Melts away my heart and turns my feet into jelly.

Jokes around and makes me laugh like never before

Brings out my tears by showing incredible tenderness

Took away all my sorrows and regrets

And exchanged them for a certain lightness in my step

He offers his hand in friendship

Which often feels like the only lifeline

That allows me to emerge

From the quicksand of life.

For the first time ever I saw my own two feet

And have a certain confidence that I can stand on them

He held my hand as I took the first few tottering steps

And cheered me along as I dropped my crutches

So I could walk with my head held high

Never to lean on someone or be used by anyone!

Just as I turn around to thank him

I see that he has walked away

I am already history for him

But for me it feels like my heart just walked away.

Who would not like a person like that in their life?

MY PERFECT MAN!!!!!!!

-------X-------

G asked Julie to send the following story to me because she thought that the poem, "My Perfect Man" was inspired by it. Actually, I had not heard of this story before. The last few lines of the poem came to me when today at the airport G and a friend had come to drop me at the security gate. As I turned to thank him he was already heading to the exit busy chatting away with the friend and never even turned back to look at me. That's when I felt like I was already truly history to him and for me it felt like my universe had closed down. I quickly went to the gate and wanted to write these words down and instead the whole poem preceded those lines.

The story forwarded to me by Julie:

A monk in China was observing the birthday of his guru with great celebration. People asked him whose birthday he was celebrating, as he always said that he had no guru and that there was no need for a guru. Then what was all this about? He begged them not to question him, but they kept on insisting. “Today is the day of the guru – have you a guru?"

The monk said, “Don’t put me in difficulty. It is good that I keep quiet.”

But the more he kept quiet the more the people insisted, “What is the matter? What is it that you are celebrating? - because this is Master’s Day Celebration. Do you have a master?"

The monk said, “If you go on insisting then I have to say something about it. Today I remember the man who refused to be my guru, because if he had accepted me as a disciple I would have gone astray. When he refused me I was very angry with him, but today I want to bow down to him in great gratitude. Had he wished he could have been my guru, because it was I who begged him to accept me, but he did not agree.

So the people asked, “Then what do you thank him for when he refused you?”

The monk said, “It is enough to say that by not becoming my guru this man did for me what no guru could do. If he had been my guru there would have been some give and take on both sides. I would have touched his feet, offered my veneration and respects, and the matter would have been concluded. But this man did not ask for respect and he did not become my guru. Therefore my obligation to him is double. This has been absolutely one-sided: He gave and I could not even thank him, because he left no place even for that.”

- unknown origin

-------X-------

February 19, 2016

For whatever reason these words are “rotating” in my head like a silly song.....Later, G requested his friend to set it to music and couple of his friends sang this song.

THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS LOVE!

Eyes are for seeing

Heart is for pumping

There is no such thing

As L O V E.....

If your head is turning mush

And you feel your blood gush

All it is my dear

Just an endorphin rush, just an endorphin rush!

If you feel like singing

Or you feel like dancing

And catch yourself smiling

It's just a play of serotonin, just a play of serotonin!

If that is the case then

Why does it happen

That when G walks in,

Carries the whole chemical lab with him?

He says love is an illusion

And that love is a delusion

What do I care what it is?

For I'm such a mush ball as it is...

Eyes are for seeing

Heart is for pumping

There is no such thing

As L O V E..... (3)

-------X-------

February 22nd, 2016

JUST ONE NAME, JUST ONE FORM

Just one name, just one form

That is enough!

Cracked my illusions and

Fulfilled my dreams

Took away my sorrows

And the worries of the morrow

Fueled my fantasies

Quelled my frustrations

Burnt away my past

With his blazing presence

Erased my regrets

By telling me there is nothing to get

Emptied my heartache

And filled it with love

Removed the poverty of my soul

And enriched me beyond imagination

Denies everything

And kills every foundation

Yields no ground

To build another institution

No stench of proselytizing

Or pretense of any kind

Leaving behind the sweet fragrance

Of just one name, just one form!

February 23rd, 2016

NOBODY HOME

There is nobody home

As you say, Isn’t it?

Like a wish fulfilling mirror

You exist

Each one comes

Spills out their deepest wish

In front of you

Although what each one sees

Is a reflection of themself

Somehow what they wish for

Magically happens for them

Each one thinks they bring you love

Each one believes they bring you the best

You accept it all not for yourself

But to give each a chance to be themself

That’s why you say YOU don’t exist

That’s why you say there is no such thing as LOVE

For all there is, is an image of the self

And the love for itself

That the self, professes to have.

-------X-------

G had shut off his phone for a few days and refused to take any phone calls. That spelt death knell for me. Out of that sheer misery came this sad and whiny poem.

February 26th, 2016

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?

Why are you doing this to me?

You are pretending to not be there

Although I know that you are right there.

It would have been less painful

If you really kicked me in my guts

With all the force you can summon to your leg.

At least I would have taken solace

In the fact that you were in front of me when you did so

The way you did, you even took that away from me

My only fault is that I love you so

I am not even asking for you to love me back in return

Here and there, when you can, just a few words to keep me going

I know your world is filled with people

Just dying to be with you, hear you and entertain you

But for me, you are my world, you are my life and you are my death!

-------X-------

February 29th, 2016

YOU ARE BETTER THAN …..

You are better than:

Any temple I could ever visit

Any God I could ever pray to

Any Godman I could ever read about

Any holy lake or stream I could ever step my feet in

Any relation I could ever spend time with

Any human that I ever knew!

I don’t come to you because you are

Better than the rest or

Because you are a better deal.

I come to you because

I feel no need to be anywhere else!

-------X-------