Poems on Guha - Series 3
Updated: May 18, 2021
February 10th, 2016
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE
For the first time in my life
I have fallen in love.
The love is so deep and complete
That never would I have to ever
Fall in love again
With anybody or anything
For in eyes of my love
I have found my whole Universe!
Nothing else to do
Nowhere else to go
In the depths of those eyes
I have lost myself forever.
It is the grace and benevolence
Of that love, that taught me what it is
To really love someone
And let myself go
For what I had held on to myself
Was nothing but a veil
That just got in the way of my love.
Unveiled and unfettered am I
To completely drown myself
In this sweet ecstasy
No need to come up for air
For there is no reason left
To come back for anything!
February 14th, 2016
THE PERFECT MAN
The perfect man isn’t the one that
Tells me I love you
He isn’t the one that promises me
A rosy tomorrow
He isn’t the one that hands out hope
Or peddles a dream
He doesn’t seem to want anything from me
Or need anything from anybody.
He neither caters to my wants and fancies
Nor does he believe in meeting my expectations
He doesn’t seem to feel the need to keep his promises
For he writes his promises on water.
He has successfully killed all my gods, goddesses and godlets
And all my heroes - living and dead
He has destroyed my interest in books, entertainment and relationships
And made mincemeat of my ambitions and aspirations.
But most of all he killed the thing I held dearest to me
My search for a state of eternal happiness.
What kind of man is this?
That sticks a time-bomb in the very core of your being
And then watches you with utter glee
As you fall apart and break asunder.
He wears a crazy and wicked smile
And calls it the glee of insanity
He torments every person around him
Best friend, other friends and maddies
None seem to escape the wrath of this mad man.
Why would anyone want to hang out around him?
Why would anyone want to submit themselves
To this unpredictable craziness?
What is it that he has that makes him so irresistible?
What is it that makes me crave for his company?
What is it that makes me weep and shed copious tears
Whilst away from him?
What does this ordinary looking guy have
That others cannot hold a candle to?
HE IS THE PERFECT MAN
He is perfect because he is complete in himself
He has no agenda and seeks nothing from me
He pours himself out for everyone like an endless Akshaya Patra
And is content even if you don’t spare him a grain of rice
He sings songs and hums melodies
That tugs on my heartstrings
Uses perfectly nuanced words that
Melts away my heart and turns my feet into jelly.
Jokes around and makes me laugh like never before
Brings out my tears by showing incredible tenderness
Took away all my sorrows and regrets
And exchanged them for a certain lightness in my step
He offers his hand in friendship
Which often feels like the only lifeline
That allows me to emerge
From the quicksand of life.
For the first time ever I saw my own two feet
And have a certain confidence that I can stand on them
He held my hand as I took the first few tottering steps
And cheered me along as I dropped my crutches
So I could walk with my head held high
Never to lean on someone or be used by anyone!
Just as I turn around to thank him
I see that he has walked away
I am already history for him
But for me it feels like my heart just walked away.
Who would not like a person like that in their life?
MY PERFECT MAN!!!!!!!
G asked Julie to send the following story to me because she thought that the poem, "My Perfect Man" was inspired by it. Actually, I had not heard of this story before. The last few lines of the poem came to me when today at the airport G and a friend had come to drop me at the security gate. As I turned to thank him he was already heading to the exit busy chatting away with the friend and never even turned back to look at me. That's when I felt like I was already truly history to him and for me it felt like my universe had closed down. I quickly went to the gate and wanted to write these words down and instead the whole poem preceded those lines.
The story forwarded to me by Julie:
A monk in China was observing the birthday of his guru with great celebration. People asked him whose birthday he was celebrating, as he always said that he had no guru and that there was no need for a guru. Then what was all this about? He begged them not to question him, but they kept on insisting. “Today is the day of the guru – have you a guru?"
The monk said, “Don’t put me in difficulty. It is good that I keep quiet.”
But the more he kept quiet the more the people insisted, “What is the matter? What is it that you are celebrating? - because this is Master’s Day Celebration. Do you have a master?"
The monk said, “If you go on insisting then I have to say something about it. Today I remember the man who refused to be my guru, because if he had accepted me as a disciple I would have gone astray. When he refused me I was very angry with him, but today I want to bow down to him in great gratitude. Had he wished he could have been my guru, because it was I who begged him to accept me, but he did not agree.
So the people asked, “Then what do you thank him for when he refused you?”
The monk said, “It is enough to say that by not becoming my guru this man did for me what no guru could do. If he had been my guru there would have been some give and take on both sides. I would have touched his feet, offered my veneration and respects, and the matter would have been concluded. But this man did not ask for respect and he did not become my guru. Therefore my obligation to him is double. This has been absolutely one-sided: He gave and I could not even thank him, because he left no place even for that.”
- unknown origin
February 19, 2016
For whatever reason these words are “rotating” in my head like a silly song.....Later, G requested his friend to set it to music and couple of his friends sang this song.
THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS LOVE!
Eyes are for seeing
Heart is for pumping
There is no such thing
As L O V E.....
If your head is turning mush
And you feel your blood gush
All it is my dear
Just an endorphin rush, just an endorphin rush!
If you feel like singing
Or you feel like dancing
And catch yourself smiling
It's just a play of serotonin, just a play of serotonin!
If that is the case then
Why does it happen
That when G walks in,
Carries the whole chemical lab with him?
He says love is an illusion
And that love is a delusion
What do I care what it is?
For I'm such a mush ball as it is...
Eyes are for seeing
Heart is for pumping
There is no such thing
As L O V E..... (3)
February 22nd, 2016
JUST ONE NAME, JUST ONE FORM
Just one name, just one form
That is enough!
Cracked my illusions and
Fulfilled my dreams
Took away my sorrows
And the worries of the morrow
Fueled my fantasies
Quelled my frustrations
Burnt away my past
With his blazing presence
Erased my regrets
By telling me there is nothing to get
Emptied my heartache
And filled it with love
Removed the poverty of my soul
And enriched me beyond imagination
And kills every foundation
Yields no ground
To build another institution
No stench of proselytizing
Or pretense of any kind
Leaving behind the sweet fragrance
Of just one name, just one form!
February 23rd, 2016
There is nobody home
As you say, Isn’t it?
Like a wish fulfilling mirror
Each one comes
Spills out their deepest wish
In front of you
Although what each one sees
Is a reflection of themself
Somehow what they wish for
Magically happens for them
Each one thinks they bring you love
Each one believes they bring you the best
You accept it all not for yourself
But to give each a chance to be themself
That’s why you say YOU don’t exist
That’s why you say there is no such thing as LOVE
For all there is, is an image of the self
And the love for itself
That the self, professes to have.
G had shut off his phone for a few days and refused to take any phone calls. That spelt death knell for me. Out of that sheer misery came this sad and whiny poem.
February 26th, 2016
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?
Why are you doing this to me?
You are pretending to not be there
Although I know that you are right there.
It would have been less painful
If you really kicked me in my guts
With all the force you can summon to your leg.
At least I would have taken solace
In the fact that you were in front of me when you did so
The way you did, you even took that away from me
My only fault is that I love you so
I am not even asking for you to love me back in return
Here and there, when you can, just a few words to keep me going
I know your world is filled with people
Just dying to be with you, hear you and entertain you
But for me, you are my world, you are my life and you are my death!
February 29th, 2016
YOU ARE BETTER THAN …..
You are better than:
Any temple I could ever visit
Any God I could ever pray to
Any Godman I could ever read about
Any holy lake or stream I could ever step my feet in
Any relation I could ever spend time with
Any human that I ever knew!
I don’t come to you because you are
Better than the rest or
Because you are a better deal.
I come to you because
I feel no need to be anywhere else!